Tyler and I recently celebrated our second wedding anniversary, and I reflected once again on what a lot of hard work a successful marriage requires. And how when you’re so new at this game of two-becoming-one, having the right virtual assistance can make all the difference.
Once upon a time, in this past year of wedded bliss, Tyler and I got into a huge argument. I can’t even remember what it was really about, but it was one of those small things that becomes a big thing quite fast. In fact, Tyler later said he’d never seen me so angry; my eyes were apparently becoming orbs of death flashing their displeasure. (Well… Tyler at least called them “scary”.)
After spitting our toughest words of accusation and building walls of defense around our weakly guarded egos, we retreated to separate parts of the house. When you live in a tiny apartment that means twenty feet apart with at least one wall in between the two.
After what seemed like an hour of deep breathing exercises and meditating on all of Tyler’s traits that I love– (I said I couldn’t remember the details, right? I’m sure that’s what I was doing.) — I was feeling pretty crummy about the broken bond between us and at least a little remorseful about how our “intense fellowship” had gone down. I, being the product of my generation, naturally picked up my phone and googled the following:
How to Have a Healthy Argument.
And lo and behold, there were dozens of articles written for such a time as this! I browsed through a few, and while finding some solace in the fact that this is a topic of much concern among all couples, I realized that it all boiled down to one piece of advice, the most practical, and really most obvious. I needed to go talk to him.
I slipped out of the bedroom and around the corner to the living area, where I found my husband hunched over the computer at the kitchen table. As soon as I made the tiniest squeak, he jumped and spun around with as guilty an expression as the cat caught at the fishbowl. Making a face that said “I don’t know what’s going on here but I’m judging you” as I verbally said “I’m sorry about earlier and I’m ready to talk”, I technically managed to sidestep the questionable behavior and stick to the mission.
Imagine my surprise and total amusement then, when Tyler wholeheartedly agreed with my regret and apology, and told me he was doing some online relationship sleuthing of his own! Although true to his nature, he had been researching a different avenue of argument resolution:
Apology songs on Spotify.
He’d been finding the perfect one with which he could come in and serenade me. If only I hadn’t interrupted, we might know today the song that would have wooed me! It appears there are plenty of options out there, tribute again to the timelessness of relationship blunders. And relationship menders.
And so, in the end, we found that both of us turned to the internet in our time of crises, and found in it a sense of comfort that we weren’t alone in loving, in fighting, and in wanting to love again. What a pair of technology-reliant saps we are.
The true moral of this story is though, that after a little marital tech-support, the real goal of it all is putting down the phone, sitting close, and having an authentic interaction.
Interested in seeing more of what inspires our marriage online?
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